10 Things Your Motherless friend wants you to know.

These blogs are always fun, and this topic is something that hits very close to home with me, so I thought I'd share. Please understand that I'm not trying to be preachy here, but when talking to my other Motherless friends, we all have the same story. This is 100% truth, and it may hurt a little.

10 Things Your Motherless Friend Wants You To Know:

1. We want you to stop fighting with your Mother.
Stop the drama, or please, at least stop telling us about it. I get it, really. Some of you have terrible Mothers. (#TRUTH) Because I'm trying to be a nice friend I will say, "Oh ________, I'm really, really sorry." That's a really shady statement, because I am only sorry that you are unhappy. The only exception is if you have such a terrible Mom that it makes me glad that at least mine is not yours. (#TRUTH again)


2. When you vent to your Motherless friend about what a hard time you're having with her not being available, It's like a slap in our face.
So your Momma is old, and she can't really babysit as much anymore, or she's sick, or out of town, or across the country, or overseas, or in prison... You're having a hard time with it. I can see that. I guess if I imagined hard enough, I could empathize with you. So I just smile and nod instead. Maybe I can say something generic like, "It's hard not to have your Mother around." What I personally feel like doing is making the barfy face. I can not call my Mother. I can not go to her house. We can't Skype, we can't send letters. I can't visit her in Prison, I don't even have the connection of knowing she's alive in the world, because she's not. Go visit or talk to your Mother while you can, and appreciate what you have.


3. Be Thankful for what you learned!
We carry a heavy load by ourselves. I'm especially speaking for my girls here. I was in my Twenties when I finally figured out how to fold a fitted sheet. I cried. If you were fortunate enough to have your Mother with you through the crazy teenager stage, Get down on your knees and Thank God for it. Everything I've learned to do, and be, has been from hard work and investigation on my part. Older ladies, if I ask you about the change, now you know why! Is that funny? Not really. Do you have the opportunity to ask your Mother about anything? Be thankful for that! I know a few people who would do ANYTHING for ONE VALID MEMORY OF THEIR MOTHER. Quit whining and be glad.


4. Please Don't Judge.
If your Momma is around, you have help. You might not ever need her, but she's there. I don't have that, so if I'm worn down and frazzled, messy house, messy kids, Don't judge. I'm doing the best I can with what I have!


5. Our Big Days Hurt.
Graduations, Birthdays, Christmas, Weddings, all these things are laced with grief.


6.  People.
This is kind of a funny one to me, a standing joke so to speak. We always have those almost strangers who feel like they need to tell us how close they were with our Mothers. She comes up so often when people don't know what to say. Don't be that crazy person. However, funny stories or fond memories are always nice.


7. "Your Mom" Jokes.
Ouch. Not cool.


8. We Need To Talk About It.
There are times that we need to talk about it. Sometimes this conversation will make you extremely uncomfortable, and you try to change the subject. Please don't change the subject.


9. We Will Never Be "Normal."
We can't change everything back to the way it was before she passed, please don't expect us to be the same.


10. What to do if we cry:
Give a hug. Say, "I'm sorry." Try to stay away from the cliché's about how it will get better and God had a plan. We know God had a plan. Somehow, hearing it from you only makes it worse.

That's all I have! I would love to hear your comments about this.
Thank You to my Motherless friends for their input.