Hosting and Being Hosted Graciously

Today I want to talk about a few things that we all could benefit from. We've all  either hosted or have been hosted at a party, and I'd like to throw out a few tips for these occasions. I am guilty of a few of these. Lord help me to be more gracious and kind!

Being Hosted:

1. When you're going to a party, make sure you're on time. 
It is extremely RUDE and insensitive to show up an hour after the party has started. If you're going to be under 30 minutes late, call, or text, and explain. Then get there as fast as you can. There is NO excuse for being an hour late unless there has been an emergency. (By emergency, I mean, someone is hurt; not your hair needed washed.) If you are having a time management problem, check out my time management planner idea. (See below) It is better for you not to show up at all than for you to show up extremely late.

2. Ask if you can bring anything. 
It's very polite, and your host will love it!

3. Communicate.
Are you arriving at 6? Or eating at 6? Knowing these things will help you make an informed judgement. For instance, if you have children, you know that they can't always wait until 6. You may need to feed them before you go.

4. Decide whether you're attending or not.
A few days in advance you need to let your host know that you're going, or not. Emergency aside, NEVER, ever, ever, change your mind last minute. A lot of work, time, and money goes into hosting a party. Unless you want to be a mean person, avoid this.

5. Make sure your children are invited.
If someone is having a couple's party, please don't take your children without asking. It might not bother anyone, but it's always best to check with your host first.

6. Offer to help clean up.

Hosting:

1. Issue an invitation, and give them time to think about it.
When you're planning a party, it's always best to give your guests time to RSVP. It's a good idea to double check with everyone the day before to save you from heartache.

2. Give details.
What are you eating? When you are eating? What you are playing? Who is coming? What is the party for? These are things that guests need to know. Some people don't get along well together, and you may not know it. It is very embarrassing for a guest to have to explain that they don't like someone, and why, so ALWAYS make sure you tell them who's coming BEFORE you ask for their answer. I would avoid inviting anyone else last minute, unless you are absolutely SURE that your guests are okay with that person, and then it would still be polite to ask them if they're okay with it before you do any extra inviting.

3. Get out your notebook and plan.
Not everyone can manage 100 things in their head. If you stink at time management, I recommend planning ahead by writing everything down. (See example below) Make whatever you can ahead of time and ALWAYS make sure you can eat when you said you were going to be eating. It is horrible to make people wait at your house for hours while you're still cooking, especially if they have children. If this happened to me, I would want nothing more than to walk out and leave. (I probably wouldn't, but I would really, REALLY want to.)

4. Know your guests and pair them well. 
Maybe everyone gets along, but there are some guests that blend better together than others. (You know what I mean.) If you're not a conversationalist, invite someone who is. Believe me, there are some people who can carry the conversation all night long. Also, know what food and games your guests enjoy. You wouldn't want to invite a diabetic to a pie tasting, or a tone-deaf to a karaoke contest.

5. Clean up.
Do a little (or a lot) cleaning the day before, or if you have children, during nap time. It's nice to go to someone's home where you know they're clean, and you don't have to worry about sitting on the floor, or about the quality of the food they put in front of you. Clean your house, light a candle, make it nice.

6. Put your pets away.
Yes, I know. You love your pets, I love mine too; but they have a time and a place, and it's not at a party. Sometimes we get sitters for our children, sometimes we get sitters for our pets. (Or at least put them in their room.) If you are clueless as of  how to restrain/hide your pet, check Pinterest. I'm sure it's on there.

7. Think!
Walk through your house as if you are a guest. You'll get a lot of insight. Is there toilet paper in the bathroom? Soap? Hand towel? (Tip: keep a lit candle in the bathroom. It will make your guests feel better in case there is a ...situation.) Remember! T.E.E. Talk, Eat, Entertainment = Fun party!

Time Management Planner:

Note:
*If you're making food that will make you smell like a hog, add shower/cleanup time in your planner after you cook. Find a way to keep the food warm.
*I have 2 ovens, and I don't do anything slow. Plan for the time YOU need.

*If you're GOING to a party, your planner could look something like this:
Party at 6pm.
1:00 pm. Make potato salad for party.
2:00-4:00 __________________.
4:00 Shower and wash hair.
4:30 Pick out party clothes.
4:45 Dry and fix hair.
5:00 Start getting kids ready.
5:40 Load kids, and potato salad in car.
5:45 Leave for party.

I understand that there's more in a day than making potato salad and showering, but you get the point!

Let me know what you think! I would love to hear from you!

Why I Put Myself In The Naughty Chair

If you're anything like me, you're probably laughing at the title of this post. It's time for a moment of truth though, because I do sometimes put myself in the naughty chair. It benefits me and my boys. Am I crazy?! Yes, Probably!

It always happens when I'm working on a project: for instance on Monday when I was getting ready to show the house to a potential buyer the boys came inside from playing in a mud puddle. My stress level was already through the roof, and I was fed up with their whining and nonsense. Of course I was in crazy get-er-done/OCD mode, and the boys were following me around undoing all of my hard work. Finally, when they started tugging at my skirt, I yelled at them. "You boys, LEAVE ME ALONE! Get Out NOW!" In that moment, as Blade's face fell, I realized that I'm acting like the crazy man in the park who yells and screams over every little thing that isn't a big deal. I was throwing a fit and acting ugly...and where do we go when we act ugly?

You see, I want them to know that there are consequences to actions. There are positive consequences and negative consequences. Does this rule only apply to children? We all know it doesn't.

So I followed up with, "Mommy, is acting ugly. Mommy has to sit in the naughty chair."

Of course Blade thought it was funny. So I sat in the naughty chair. As I sat there, I realized, It's NICE to sit in the naughty chair! It's a time-out! It's a time-out to think about the way I was acting, and WHY I was acting that way. It's a time-out from the out-of-control way I was feeling. It was a take-a-break chair, a rest chair, a quiet moment of reflection to calm down and get it all together. I emerged a more positive, energized mother, ready to apologize.

Too often I expect things of my children that I don't do. This is wrong, and I want to lead by example. I also want an easy way to help my young children understand that even parents are held accountable for their actions. For me, the naughty chair is a useful tool that I use to get that point across. Besides, it doesn't hurt to sit down once in a while. *Smile*

Let me know your thoughts! I would love for you to contact me with any questions!

Our Three Week Vacay!

We just got back from a three week vacation to Missouri, West Virginia, and Destin, Florida! We had a great time!

In Missouri, we always stay with my Aunt. Blade loves it there, and he was very sorry to leave. Truthfully, he was very mad about it. 

My Aunt has a guest house separate from her home. I LOVE this setup. (If I ever build another home, I will do it like that.) It gives us privacy and personal space. We can visit with her and my Gramma without being in anyone's hair. It's so nice for the boys too, because it allows us to have our own routine.

We went out to eat a few times, and basically just hung out while Derek was on his big turkey hunt.

 Our next stop was West Virginia. After driving through the night, we were very tired, but so excited to see everyone! Right off the bat, the family came over to Dad's. It was really nice to have the whole family together.

Since we were staying at Dad's house, we got to do our before bed tradition, which is me hanging out in the girls' room and reading Encyclopedia Brown. I especially remember the last night we were able to do it. It was SO hot upstairs, and we were all roasting! We finally found a box fan in the loft and put it in the window. The cold air felt SO good coming in, and we all sat around while I read to them. The boys got hot and came in and joined us.

My sister, Leah, loves photography. I have to say, she takes better photos than most grown people I know. When she's around, I can pretty much say, "Goodbye" to my zoom lense. Here are a few that she took.

  

It's also really cool that she has our sister-in-love to give her pointers.

Alyssa also has a blog, check it out here.

stitchedwardrobe.wordpress.com

After West Virginia, we came home for two days before leaving again to go to Destin.

Blade got really attached to our "Beach home" and didn't want to leave. He still talks about it every now and then. I guess we'll have to go back. :) My sister and her kids met up with us there. I was surprised how well the kids got along. They only had one major fight! They loved the beach. My nephew was obsessed with catching "Sea creatures" and he and Derek spent many hours looking for crabs and "Diggers."

I pulled a muscle in my back on Mother's Day, and was in the most pain I've ever been in. Blade got an ear infection on that trip and then well all came down with a cold! It didn't really stop us though, we still tried to enjoy our trip as much as possible!

All in all, it was an eventful, but really fun trip!

Best Curling Iron Ever!

For all those ladies out there who are like me, (incompetent with curlers,) here you go!

I've been looking for a foolproof hair curler for a while now. I've tried so many different things, regular curlers, rod curlers, you name it. Finally, I tried this:

Infiniti Pro by CONAIR

Now, I am not kidding. When I say "It's foolproof," what I really mean is, "Oh my goodness! I did it, and nothing got burned!" Yay me!

When you're a mom, the time you have for hygiene and beauty regimen is cut in half. (Maybe less, I don't have to tell YOU right?!)

That's why this curler is so amazing! It took literally 10 minutes to do, and my hair is not thin!

(Please don't judge, it is the first time I have ever successfully curled my hair!)

All you have to do is section your hair, and place the sections in the groove, and close it. A few very annoying beeps later, out comes the perfect curl!

If you're into curling your hair, this product is well worth the price!

I Am Not Super Mom, and That's Ok.

I Am Not Super-Mom

Life is so short. I found this out after I had kids. My baby is going to be two tomorrow! I haven't learned anything though, it seems like I still rush around as much as I ever did! 

I feel all this pressure from the world to be a super mom, and too many times I expect my boys to be super children.

My boys are not super children, and I am not super mom. It's not cool to say, but there are times when I can't do it all, and that's fine. That time was today. I don't feel well, and the boys are feeling jittery because it's been raining ALL DAY. It's supposed to be this way all week.

The thought of that almost makes me sick. So when Bo spilled my chia seeds all over my carpet, I had to take inventory. Here's what I came up with:

I will not freak out.

If my chores don't get done today, who cares!

We are going to play games.

I am going to slow down, because life is too short.

I am going to relax and be the mom I want to be, regardless of the world's expectations.

What do they expect? I'm SO GLAD you asked!

They expect children to sit still for hours; if they don't, they must be put on medication.

They expect children to be dressed to the hilt; if they aren't, shame on you, mom!

They expect mothers to have a Pinterest approved home. Shame on you!

They expect children to always have shoes on, shirts on, never dirty. Never putting rocks or sand in their mouths. "They're neglected." SHAME!

They expect children to be never scolded, or disciplined. "That's abuse!" Shame, shame!

They expect mothers to be so much, and do so much, at the expense of the children. Shamey shame, shame, shame!

So much shaming going on.

 Too many times, those people who are shaming struggling mothers aren't so far removed from us.

Too many times it's those in our own close circles.

Too many times it's me, asking too much of others, asking too much of myself.

Lord help me that I'll slow down and enjoy the little blessings that I've been given.

Help me not to be that person who rushes around but never gets anything done.

Help me to be an understanding friend, and to never shame others.

Help me to stop, and take the time to play in the rain.

I Am The Mother Of Boys

I wrote this about a year ago, when everything was still pretty crazy from two very little boys. I marveled at how much they could destroy in such a short time. I was amazed even more at how little it bothered me. (I've always been more about creativity and less about order.) Having little boys has certainly been a life changing experience for me. I wouldn't trade it for the world!


I Am The Mother Of Boys

 I am the Mother of boys.
Crash, Splash, and "Oh No!" are commonplace, and silence is suspicious.
I no longer bat an eyelash at the thought of one purposely dumping sandy pea-gravel on my freshly vacuumed carpet, nor do I jump when a pail-full of water, now empty, is haphazardly refilled with what was, my sweet tea.
A dirty face in public no longer offends me.
I no longer think of children with dirty fingernails as "Looking like orphans."
I am the Mother of boys.
My days are filled with dump trucks, dirt, water, and more dirt.
Four-wheelers, tractors, and trains are the bomb-diggity and rocks, like balls, no matter how big, are meant to be thrown.
Popsicles are a daily necessity and can also be used as face paint.
Brushing teeth, using the potty, and washing hands are way over-rated. *sigh*
I am the Mother of boys.
Frogs, bugs, and fish are to be caught. Deer and turkeys are to be shot.
Getting dressed means we're going somewhere.
My coffee table is often finger-painted with ketchup, yogurt, and whipped cream.
Doctor visits are scheduled around how many bruises are showing from their latest stunts.
Drinks are only good if followed by an extra loud burp and toots are just being generous.
Outside beats inside, sticks beat toys, water and Daddy beat everything; even me.
I am the Mother of boys.

                            

10 Things Your Motherless friend wants you to know.

These blogs are always fun, and this topic is something that hits very close to home with me, so I thought I'd share. Please understand that I'm not trying to be preachy here, but when talking to my other Motherless friends, we all have the same story. This is 100% truth, and it may hurt a little.

10 Things Your Motherless Friend Wants You To Know:

1. We want you to stop fighting with your Mother.
Stop the drama, or please, at least stop telling us about it. I get it, really. Some of you have terrible Mothers. (#TRUTH) Because I'm trying to be a nice friend I will say, "Oh ________, I'm really, really sorry." That's a really shady statement, because I am only sorry that you are unhappy. The only exception is if you have such a terrible Mom that it makes me glad that at least mine is not yours. (#TRUTH again)


2. When you vent to your Motherless friend about what a hard time you're having with her not being available, It's like a slap in our face.
So your Momma is old, and she can't really babysit as much anymore, or she's sick, or out of town, or across the country, or overseas, or in prison... You're having a hard time with it. I can see that. I guess if I imagined hard enough, I could empathize with you. So I just smile and nod instead. Maybe I can say something generic like, "It's hard not to have your Mother around." What I personally feel like doing is making the barfy face. I can not call my Mother. I can not go to her house. We can't Skype, we can't send letters. I can't visit her in Prison, I don't even have the connection of knowing she's alive in the world, because she's not. Go visit or talk to your Mother while you can, and appreciate what you have.


3. Be Thankful for what you learned!
We carry a heavy load by ourselves. I'm especially speaking for my girls here. I was in my Twenties when I finally figured out how to fold a fitted sheet. I cried. If you were fortunate enough to have your Mother with you through the crazy teenager stage, Get down on your knees and Thank God for it. Everything I've learned to do, and be, has been from hard work and investigation on my part. Older ladies, if I ask you about the change, now you know why! Is that funny? Not really. Do you have the opportunity to ask your Mother about anything? Be thankful for that! I know a few people who would do ANYTHING for ONE VALID MEMORY OF THEIR MOTHER. Quit whining and be glad.


4. Please Don't Judge.
If your Momma is around, you have help. You might not ever need her, but she's there. I don't have that, so if I'm worn down and frazzled, messy house, messy kids, Don't judge. I'm doing the best I can with what I have!


5. Our Big Days Hurt.
Graduations, Birthdays, Christmas, Weddings, all these things are laced with grief.


6.  People.
This is kind of a funny one to me, a standing joke so to speak. We always have those almost strangers who feel like they need to tell us how close they were with our Mothers. She comes up so often when people don't know what to say. Don't be that crazy person. However, funny stories or fond memories are always nice.


7. "Your Mom" Jokes.
Ouch. Not cool.


8. We Need To Talk About It.
There are times that we need to talk about it. Sometimes this conversation will make you extremely uncomfortable, and you try to change the subject. Please don't change the subject.


9. We Will Never Be "Normal."
We can't change everything back to the way it was before she passed, please don't expect us to be the same.


10. What to do if we cry:
Give a hug. Say, "I'm sorry." Try to stay away from the cliché's about how it will get better and God had a plan. We know God had a plan. Somehow, hearing it from you only makes it worse.

That's all I have! I would love to hear your comments about this.
Thank You to my Motherless friends for their input.